Yes it's been a while... a long while.
I have a different life now. A life that is completely opposite of what I have lived for the last 23 years. It took me a long time to come to the place that I am now, the place that I feel comfortable enough writing and sharing my life.
Traumatic is the only word I know to use in describing the past few years of my life, but now it is time to move on.
To trust, and to live again, to live without fear.
Living without fear is truly living, for fear kills one from within and keeps us from doing things that we would naturally be inclined to do, and that my friends is not living.
How does one get past the fear? I took Baby Steps.
Baby steps into a new world, new relationships, and a new self.
At some point one has to shake off the things of the past that make one fearful while not forgeting them so as not to make the same mistakes and end up in the same situations, but never letting these things shackle us into a paralyzed state again.
I have learned that I must be steadfast in my knowledge of who I truly am.
I posess talent and intellect and am equipped with the skills that I need to live this life, and not only live, but to thrive.
Even as we as a nation stand on the verge of economic collapse, and me as an individual having lost all material possessions, we cannot allow ourselves to be manipulated by fear.
It's all just stuff.
Yes, there are memories attached to the stuff, but even if we no longer have the stuff, we have the memories. Memories don't weigh anything. Memories don't cost money to store. Memories in themselves are enough, and they are easily shared.
As a nation we now look at all we have to lose, and act in fear. We must stop.
Fear does not bring out our highest and best self. Instead, it causes us to second guess our thoughts and actions and seals away our bravery into the depths of our beings until we can no longer find it.
They say the bravest people of all are those with nothing left to lose, losing stuff is hard, but it's not losing a loved one, and it's not losing ones freedoms.
Freedom is what we must be brave enough to fight for. Without freedom, nothing else matters, because life without freedom is no life at all.
Thank you friends, for all of your support, kindness, love and understanding over these last few trying years, I have cherished each drop.
Today, I am taking much bigger and bolder steps now, and want to encourage each of you, that you also are equipped to not only to live this life but thrive as well.
I must make a commitment to myself everyday, sometimes several times a day, that I will not allow my circumstances dictate how I feel or think about myself.
Likewise, we as a people need to do the same, and not let fear of our circumstances make us cower in impotence and keep us from changing our world.
If we lose our jobs, our benefits, our homes, or any of the 'stuff'... then we need to reach down deeper inside and find that which is already there... humanity at it's best! And share what we have with those that do not, and ask for help when we need some too.
Let this time of crisis, be a time to prove to ourselves and future generations that we can and will be all that we can be, and do what is right in the face of all that is wrong.
