A New Life on The Left Coast

Yes it's been a while... a long while.

I have a different life now. A life that is completely opposite of what I have lived for the last 23 years. It took me a long time to come to the place that I am now, the place that I feel comfortable enough writing and sharing my life.

Traumatic is the only word I know to use in describing the past few years of my life, but now it is time to move on.

To trust, and to live again, to live without fear.

Living without fear is truly living, for fear kills one from within and keeps us from doing things that we would naturally be inclined to do, and that my friends is not living.

How does one get past the fear? I took Baby Steps.

Baby steps into a new world, new relationships, and a new self.

At some point one has to shake off the things of the past that make one fearful while not forgeting them so as not to make the same mistakes and end up in the same situations, but never letting these things shackle us into a paralyzed state again.

I have learned that I must be steadfast in my knowledge of who I truly am.

I posess talent and intellect and am equipped with the skills that I need to live this life, and not only live, but to thrive.

Even as we as a nation stand on the verge of economic collapse, and me as an individual having lost all material possessions, we cannot allow ourselves to be manipulated by fear.

It's all just stuff.

Yes, there are memories attached to the stuff, but even if we no longer have the stuff, we have the memories. Memories don't weigh anything. Memories don't cost money to store. Memories in themselves are enough, and they are easily shared.

As a nation we now look at all we have to lose, and act in fear. We must stop.

Fear does not bring out our highest and best self. Instead, it causes us to second guess our thoughts and actions and seals away our bravery into the depths of our beings until we can no longer find it.

They say the bravest people of all are those with nothing left to lose, losing stuff is hard, but it's not losing a loved one, and it's not losing ones freedoms.

Freedom is what we must be brave enough to fight for. Without freedom, nothing else matters, because life without freedom is no life at all.

Thank you friends, for all of your support, kindness, love and understanding over these last few trying years, I have cherished each drop.

Today, I am taking much bigger and bolder steps now, and want to encourage each of you, that you also are equipped to not only to live this life but thrive as well.

I must make a commitment to myself everyday, sometimes several times a day, that I will not allow my circumstances dictate how I feel or think about myself.

Likewise, we as a people need to do the same, and not let fear of our circumstances make us cower in impotence and keep us from changing our world.

If we lose our jobs, our benefits, our homes, or any of the 'stuff'... then we need to reach down deeper inside and find that which is already there... humanity at it's best! And share what we have with those that do not, and ask for help when we need some too.

Let this time of crisis, be a time to prove to ourselves and future generations that we can and will be all that we can be, and do what is right in the face of all that is wrong.

A Time for Mourning...John Samuel Nevin 7/20/1916 to 11/25/2009

I haven't written in quite a while and today I realized why...I am in a time of mourning. Mourning over the impending loss and finally the loss of not only one the worlds most remarkable people but also one of the most important people in my life; my Grandfather.

John Samuel Nevin met his maker and was reunited with his wife Letha, and brothers and sister and Mother and Father on the 25th of November 2009.
This day was also my Grandmothers Birthday. What better birthday present for her to recieve then to be reunited with the love of her life.

Since her passing in 2001, life for Granddaddy had very much changed but also very much stayed the same.
He bought a new house by the shore to be closer to me and the kids his Great grandchildren, but he retained the house that he built for my grandmother and their family all the while.
He still ate the same raisin bran every morning for breakfast and had the same peaunut butter and crackers dunked in two glasses of whole milk that he had been eating for as long as I can remember, but rarely made himself a real dinner. Dinner in the last eight years have consisted of our leftovers, meals that I specifically prepared for him, or covered dishes from his kindly neighbors. He hated to go out to eat and never did unless he was absolutely forced to do so.
Grandaddy was a child of the Great Depression and had experienced so much lack in his life he refused to pay restaraunt prices for food that he could easily afford any time that he wanted it.
I was able on occaison to talk him into frozen dinners which only served to make me feel better, because he would buy them upon my insistence when I would take him to the grocery but when I would go by at a later date there in the freezer they remained.
Dinner was always my Grans rhelm and she was a wonderful cook. Born and reared in Savannah, GA she knew what to do with a refrigerator full of groceries or a pantry with just the bare minimum in them. She made everything she cooked special and Granddaddy praised everyone of them with "That was the best ......... I have ever tasted! Why, it's better than my sugar baby up the road could ever make!" This comment would always incite a hurt and dejected look that were so honest and true, that they brought him to his feet and he would walk to the other side of the table and lean down and kiss her and pat and rub her back. Every singe meal that I ever had the pleasure of sharing with them ended like this; every one.
I know that he missed her terribly, but there was also another side that none of us had ever seen that he began doing and that was staying up late, eating lots of junk food and courting lots of little old ladies!
He was very funny about it. He was on the prowl, and he would get himself all cleaned up and go visiting. One summer my Aunt came up from Florida to spend a week with him and he got ill and it turned into a month that she stayed. On the day that her plane was to leave Hubby and I went to pick her up to drive her to the airport. When we arrived at Grandaddy's house not only was my Aunt dressed and ready to go, but so was he. We were delighted at the thought he would want to come to the airport with us. But he had other plans. He said a friend of his was picking him up and he was going to Miss .......'s house to visit her. He was soooo cute dressed in his best pants and shirt with purple stripes (my grandmothers favorite) a pair of purple suspenders and a straw hat. He was so dapper.
As time went by his illness's became more frequent and his doctors had nothing to offer him except comfort.
He was too old for all of the treatments designed for a young man but as the cardiologist told him ''Mr Nevin, we are all trying to get to where you are".
I'll never forget this wonderful man.
He formed and shaped me into the strong person I am today. It is his voice that I hear in my head if I feel I am not doing enough with my life.
I count myself lucky to have had the amount of time that I had with him, and that my children were able to share too. What a wonderful man, of such gentleness and kindness but with an added dose of firmness and correction when needed.
Oh God how I will miss him. At this point I cry little bits at a time. When someone says something about him, or does something like him, but true grieving, well I think that will be for the rest of my life.
I love you Granddaddy!

Thinkin About the Miracle that is Christmas

I wanted to write a post consecutively chronicling the actual miracles that my family and I experienced over this last couple of weeks.
Yet, it is so extensive, I just don't know if I actually have the energy. I am in fact wishing I had chronicled them as they occurred as retelling them just isn't as compelling.
I will be working on this and I promise a full accounting.
Just know that this has been one of my most wonderful Christmas' ever, and not because of any one gift that I recieved but because of the obediance of friends to listen to their hearts and move and sowing seeds that changed our lives, and gave me a renewed faith in humanity.
I'll talk with you soon!

Home School Terrorist?

Today was our Home Schooler's Science Co-Op Day. This is the day once per month where we come together with pre - determined lesson plans on a particular subject and teach 4 classes on the same subject to 4 different age groups of children.
This years topic is called 'De Mystifying the Periodic Table of Elements'. Pretty cool topic in my opinion especially since many people go through life and don't have a clue as to what that table is about, why we have, or let alone how to read and understand it.
It is to many just a chart that they saw hanging in their science classes, and was understood by only the smart kids.
It is really a very simple chart, and shows all of the elements on the earth. What their atomic weight is and how many molecules they are composed of.
I also think that it is really cool that we are exposing children as young as 5 to the periodic table so that they will grow up with a familiarity with it, instead of being intimidated by it.
We are exploring the periodic table very simply by starting from left to right and incorporating as much about an element into the different classes as we can including our snacks.
Last months element was potassium so we had foods rich in potassium.
This month was Magnesium, and hubby and I were asked to teach a class, so I didn't have to bring a snack.
Magnesium, is a really cool element that burns under water. It is used as flares by divers and for roadside flares as well, and is the white stuff on the top of 'Strike anywhere' matches. It is also used in medicine, such as 'Milk of Magnesia'. It is very good for irregularity.
Hubby downloaded some YouTube vids of people making fireworks, so we of course taught the kids how to make their own too.
For the little kids we took caps for toy guns and cut the rolls up into pieces, put the pieces onto a piece of tape and folded it up into a little bindle and taped the bindle to the head of a hammer. After all the children had made their bindles we ventured outside and the children took turns banging the hammer with their bindle attached onto the asphalt parking lot. It made quite a loud bang and the kids loved it.
For the older children we scraped the magnesium off of sparklers and placed them in a bindle with a firecracker inside as a fuse. The magnesium flared bright white as the firecracker exploded.
This was quite a popular class.
But as I am watching the kids have such a great time and putting what they have learned into practical application, I couldn't help but feel sorry for the kids in public school who would be expelled if caught making the things that we were teaching them to make.
Our country is crying out for science and math scholars, but these subjects aren't interesting if they are only learned in a book. They are interesting when you apply them to real life applications and have fun with them.
Every time I take my son to this co-op it reinforces to me why I choose to homeschool my kids.

I Feel Like a Big Girl

Wow, this is so strange. I'm home almost alone. Hubby and the Princess are off on business today.

I saw a friends status on Facebook today saying that her husband was going to be home for a month and she was hoping that they didn't kill each other. One of her friends responded and said that she should be grateful because she hadn't seen her husband in nine months and he was schedualed to come home for just two weeks and then back to Afganistan again.

Boy, that sure puts it all in perspective doesn't it.

I am the wife of a serial entrepenuer who loves me more than I can even describe. Ever since I got sick he has nearly outright refused to leave me side for almost four years. His business requires him to travel quite a bit, but he has since insisted that I come along. It has been really exciting and we get to see soooo much and experience so many different things together, so I am certainly not complaining.

We are completely co-dependant upon each other, but you know, I just don't think that is such a bad thing.

Everybody needs someone to love them unconditionally, and while I sometimes put some conditions on my affection like..."you gotta pluck your nose hair", or "your shirt is on inside out". The fact of the matter is I love him, and don't know what I would do without him.

Yet, I am home alone (still have the 10 year old) and it has been such a long time I feel so grown up!
It's funny how when we were younger he was gone all the time on business trips, and I was alone for nearly two years, only seeing him on the weekends. I hated it at first, but then found I really liked it. I found an independance I didn't know that I had .

But it has been since 02 since he has worked away from the house far enough that he had to get into a car and drive. Having a home office is wonderful, or working 50 feet from the back porch is remarkable.
Its great having him home for our family meals (which he often cooks) and having him here for a hand on heavy things that I can't do myself.

One of the most wonderful things about having him home is that since the 10 year olds birth he took more of an active role in the day to day life of raising this child. With our two eldest, we were younger, and it was harder to make ends meet and he had to be gone so much that most of the child rearing was my responsibilty but with the youngest he has been a literal Mr. Mom. So much so, I think the older two are often times jealous.

Time is something that we can't buy. Health is marginally available for purchase, and the time that we have spent together has been priceless.
While there are material things that we all would have liked, persuing ones dreams is far more valuable and satisfying.
I'm grateful to the husband that chases his dreams from his home office, and takes such wonderful care of me. I'm grateful for the sacrafices that he has made to spend the time with me and our children.
It takes a brave man to persue his dreams and rely on only God, himself and his talents to put his face to the wind and keep pushing on in no matter the conditions or enviroment. It has never been easy, sometimes it is really really hard, and sometimes it's sooo sweet and perfect that I wouldn't trade it for all the hard times.

Thank you Honey, I miss you already!

There is Simply Nothing Like a Fresh Peach

The other day Tide and Thyme had a recipe for Peach and Berry Crumble. The recipe looks divine and I plan on making it, the problem is....can I keep the peaches long enough!?!?!

I have a passion for a fresh tree ripened peach. There is nothing like the taste, the warm juice running down your chin when, the fuzzy's prickleing your lips, the pain in the back of your jaw as your taste buds are overwhelmed with both sweet and tart, and pure taste of glorious summer sunshine all in your mouth at one time.

I know, I know, I sound like I could be writing an adult novel, but peaches are truly a very sensational fruit.

This particular peach was so perfect I had to place it on my stand and photograph it.

Here's your food porno for the day!

Check Out These Roses!!!!

This year I was completely stupified by these roses granduer.
I mean all of this from a cheap rose bush from Walmart 6 years ago.
They are 'Queen Elizabeth' Roses, and I simply find it unbelievable that this cheap Walmart bush would produce such reliable beautiful blooms year after year.
Much earlier this last year, a Nor'easter knocked down their faithful trellis that held them up since they were purchased.
On Birthday's Mother's Day and Easter, my children always buy me a rose bush or another type of perennial for me to plant in our extensive garden. They know how cheap I am and would never go and spend the money that I know is essential to spend on a good rose, from somewhere like Thomases or other reputile nurseries.
However, this beaty, I picked up on clearance at Walmart when I was their shopping for something else one day. I didn't give it a lot of thought after I purchased it. As a matter of fact, I left it on the porch for several weeks un planted before I walked outside and uncerimoniously planted the poor dry thing.
But low and behold just a few day's later the previously pasty white stems were now green and it was growing more!
I will never again judge a book by it's cover, and it was grown in the US, so despite it's meager beginings this rose has turned out to be a such the head turner!